today i cried.... was so in pain. my body pain, my tummy pain, my head pain. at work, i was just moping and feeling depressed so it was really no point me being there in the first place. sometimes i wished that i didnt have to work while pregnant. but the thought of passing by the 4 months of paid maternity leave is too difficult to resist. i am thinking a change of career, but then i feel daunted with the fact i must go through a round of interviews. what if i hate my new workplace? as of now, work is tolerable.. stressful, yes. but tolerable. perhaps i should think real carefully.

i ever spoke to hubby that i wanted to take care of our kids. perhaps, he's right. we should go with the plan that i resign after our second baby. so that i can take care of both kids and ensure that they grow up well and become pious children.

and besides, i dont trust maids. and i rather take responsibility to how my kids turn out as they grow rather than in the end putting the blame on the maid. if there's anyone to blame, its should be me, as their mother.