*Fairy Thoughts

2012-01-27T21:40:00.008+08:00

today was a movie marathon day... me and zakk watched a few movies together. mrs doubtfire, the jungle book, the school of rock, streetfighter movie.. it was a fun sisters-in-law bonding time.

i feel blessed that i have a supportive family.. both from my side and hubby's.

and i just have to say this. my mother-in-law is awesome. she is always there for me to help whenever i am down. during my difficult vomitty pregnancy and my dalam hari days.. she helped put my kitchen in order and ironed abang's work clothes. in fact there were other things she does, and her useful advices.. that it made me appreciate her more. she has my respect as a wonderful mother-in-law..

then today she went to Larkin to buy some frozen stuffs.. and so i kirim. now my freezer is complete with a stockfull of food. and i am happy because i can prepare for my hubby early in the morning before he goes to work. and she doesnt want me to pay for the food because she ikhlas nak bagi.. ok this sounds like a repeat but waddaheck: my mother-in-law is awesome :)

for hubby, i make it a point that he has some food in his bag. working as a teacher is no joke.. very the stressful. sometimes, the lessons he had are back to back that he didnt eat lunch. not good for long term.

stress + no food = a good recipe for gastric problems.

prevention is better than cure.. what better than to start now.

~ Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching. ~

2012-01-26T20:41:00.007+08:00

as of now... my life is slowly settling down..

it had been an extremely whirlwind ride. whats with the major events happening in my life all at once. flashbacks running through my head. me getting engaged, the wedding preps, my dad passed away, house hunting, moving house, getting back to work, finding out that i'm pregnant, struggling with the vomiting throug my pregnancy, depression... and then just 26 days ago.. motherhood. i'm someone's mum... to a little miracle and gift from God.

i need a pause. i need to reflect.. to re-align to the direction in life that i am supposed to be heading to. because honestly, at this point of time... i am a little lost. in fact, i feel overwhelmed.

suddenly all my time gets taken away for all the commitments. my singlehood feels like it had been a very distant memory of the past when in fact, it was nearly a year ago. and i had not even celebrated my first wedding anniversary yet... mwahaha.....

i need to get in touch and be closer to God. Ya Allah, please strengthen my faith to You.

i need to get in touch with myself. to live in the present, stay in love, and enjoy life to the fullest as it comes.

~ Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything and have no regrets. Life's too short to be anything but happy. ~

2012-01-18T15:56:00.005+08:00

baby is going to be 3 weeks old soon.. the feeling of being a mum is still surreal and sometimes overwhelming. like last night.. i was so tired. i just cried myself to sleep. it felt so much better after that. i think what just happened was the post-partum blues. i hope its just temporary.

2011-12-25T21:45:00.001+08:00

i love my hubby... he takes care of me really well when i'm sick.. i must be the luckiest woman in the world. hehe am blissfully happy :)

2011-12-16T22:29:00.000+08:00

i vomited daily tt i lost count. i seriously cant remember on which day exactly tt i didnt vomit.. i am in pain for the longest time....

2011-12-15T20:15:00.007+08:00

i think its because i vomited a few times after i reached home from work. negativity surrounds me. in a nutshell, these sums up my thoughts for today:

- i hate office politics. and i am always the one stuck in the middle because ppl 'ventilate' to me.
- i hate my boss. she wants me to take 3 months maternity leave and then clear the rest in stages. wth. i think she has no compassion. she didnt even ask about my opinion and how i felt about it.
- i hate my job... i just do, do, do for 4 fucking years and no one appreciates me. seriously, only when i am going to resign that they actually promoted me. and its not even a Senior Exec. sheesh.

i am even more adamant now that it is time to move on. i have wasted enough of my energy here for 4 freaking years.

2011-12-14T04:14:00.005+08:00

trying to sleep, but failed. threw up my dinner yesterday... bye bye spagetti bolognaise.. and then fainted (or rather, knocked out) on my bed for a few hours.

woke up again around 1-ish AM... thought maybe baby Z hungry because he wont stop kicking2 in my tummy.. drank milo and a couple of biscuits while stoning in front of the Tv.. channel 5 was playing a repeat telecast of the Noose.. but couldnt find the humour to laugh.. yeah the show's funny... budden try laughing when u're not in the mood after vomiting pain. even the funniest thing will not tickle your funny bone.

tried sleeping again after that.. in less than an hour, vomited out the milo and biscuits... so wtf.

now feeling down.. cant sleep. hungry but cant eat.. it sucks.

2011-12-12T23:47:00.002+08:00

well its late in the night. was trying to sleep since 9.30pm but couldn't... but instead ended up doing a lot of thinking. about the future plans.... or rather, work. realization struck that i have somehow lost the will and motivation to carry on working in the current workplace. i asked myself what am i still doing here. when i should have moved on when i should.

in the past i didnt have a good reason. i thought about how difficult it can be to find the next job. the rounds and rounds of uncomfortable interviews (yeah, i never enjoyed any of them)... uncomfortable, sure. and yet necessary.

i considered my priorities in life. my health had been bad for the last 9 months. i desperately needed to get away.. aka a holiday, but then i couldnt because of the little miracle in my tummy. work sucks. with a domineering boss. it sucks. the only consolation is an understanding husband who loves me with all his heart... and i love him too.

being happy is not a matter of destiny.. it is a matter of options. i choose to be happy, i will be. when baby Z is born.. a few things will change. i will focus more on my family... and in the meantime while taking care of baby... i will probably hunt for a new job. one that gives more balance... between life, family and career.

2011-12-05T13:09:00.001+08:00

i fainted at the bus stop today.. it was scary because i was alone. my head was dizzy and i saw white stars. what if i fell flat on my tummy. tt would have been a pregnancy emergency.. God must be testing my patience and determination.. i had been sick for most of my pregnancy... that sometimes all i could do was just lie down on the bed and cry. i am so weak now.. that there were times when i doubted myself on whether i will have the energy to birth our son when the time comes.

2011-11-13T08:24:00.001+08:00

today i am at 31 weeks. the thought of the impending birth somewhat scares me..

2011-11-02T13:29:00.002+08:00

my tummy's so big now that i'm waddling like a duck. *waddle* *waddle*.. back pain ar!!

2011-10-17T18:26:00.002+08:00

today i cried.... was so in pain. my body pain, my tummy pain, my head pain. at work, i was just moping and feeling depressed so it was really no point me being there in the first place. sometimes i wished that i didnt have to work while pregnant. but the thought of passing by the 4 months of paid maternity leave is too difficult to resist. i am thinking a change of career, but then i feel daunted with the fact i must go through a round of interviews. what if i hate my new workplace? as of now, work is tolerable.. stressful, yes. but tolerable. perhaps i should think real carefully.

i ever spoke to hubby that i wanted to take care of our kids. perhaps, he's right. we should go with the plan that i resign after our second baby. so that i can take care of both kids and ensure that they grow up well and become pious children.

and besides, i dont trust maids. and i rather take responsibility to how my kids turn out as they grow rather than in the end putting the blame on the maid. if there's anyone to blame, its should be me, as their mother.

2011-10-16T16:55:00.003+08:00

happy sunday everyone.. :) well mine's been happy so far. got my cravings for thosai and iced bandung satiated for breakfast.. nyum nyum. but it got me feeling really full and bloated after that. so when we got home, i just lay down and slept most of the morning away. siiighs bliss.

i'm basically procrastinating now. that ironing need to be done.. its a lot. mostly the bajus i needed to wear to work. if i dont start today.... then when? no baju to wear to work. life living independently can be tough sometimes. especially at maintaining the house part. sometimes, i wish the house can clean itself. mwahaha like you know. automatically, my floor already mopped, my bathroom scrubbed, my fridge stocked, the ironings done. thank god for hubby.... who is always tolerant with me.. looking at how my health has been bad even since the start of my pregnancy.

if you ask me, am i still vomiting... YES. i suppose i'll continue vomiting til i give birth... my body's not strong enough for pregnancy, i think tts why.

but the thought of holding our son in my arms soon.. i am feeling fuzzy + apprehensive. i hope i can be a good mum to my little baby..

hubby and i chose a name for him already. we hope he will be a good pious son, like the meaning of his name. :)

2011-10-13T09:55:00.001+08:00

Amalan Bila Bayi Baru Lahir

Antara pendidikan awal terhadap anak ialah sejurus selepas dia dilahirkan ke dunia. Perkara pertama yang sunat dilakukan ialah mengazankan dan mengiqomahkan ke telinga anak.

Azan di telinga kanannya. Iqomah di telinga kirinya. Dalilnya ialah hadis Nabi s.a.w.: Dari Abu Rafi’, katanya: Aku melihat Rasulullah s.a.w. mengumandangkan azan di telinga al-Hasan bin Ali ketika ibunya (Fatimah) melahirkannya. (HR Abu Daud & At-Tarmizi).

Dari al-Hasan bin Ali dari Rasulullah s.a.w., baginda bersabda: Barangsiapa yang anaknya baru dilahirkan, kemudian dia mengumandangkan azan ke telinga kanannya dan iqamat di telinga kirinya, maka anak yang baru lahir itu tidak akan terkena bahaya `ummu shibyan’.

`Ummu shibyan’ ialah angin yang dihembuskan kepada anak, jadi anak itu takut kepadanya. Ada juga yang berkata bahawa ia adalah `qarinah’, iaitu jin.

Mengapa azan?
Adalah wajar anak ini diazan dan diiqamatkan agar kalimah pertama yang didengarnya dan tembus ke gegendang telinganya adalah kalimah seruan Yang Maha Agung. Kalimah yang mengandungi persaksian (syahadah) terhadap keesaan Allah dan persaksian terhadap kerasulan Muhamad bin Abdullah s.a.w.

Anak yang baru menghirup udara dunia ini telah diajarkan dengan aqidah dan syariat Islam, sebagaimana seseorang yang akan mati diajarkan dengan kalimah tauhid `La ilaha illallah’. Agar pengaruh azan ini dapat meresap ke dalam diri anak ini.

Azan ini ialah untuk mengusir syaitan yang memang menanti-nanti kelahiran bayi ini.

Azan dikumandangkan ke telinga bayi agar seruan dakwah kepada Allah dan agamanya dapat mendahului seruan jahat syaitan.

Azan dan iqomah yang diperdengarkan akan dirakam oleh bayi berkenaan yang menjadi sebahagian dari pendidikan tauhid, syariat dan akhlak.

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Antara sunnah yang perlu diamalkan terhadap bayi ialah `tahnik’, iaitu menggosok langit-langit bayi dengan kurma. Caranya: Kurma yang dikunyah diletakkan di atas jari, kemudian memasukkan jari berkenaan ke dalam mulut bayi. Gerak-geraknya ke kanan dan ke kiri dengan lembut hingga merata.

Jika sukar untuk memperoleh kurma, boleh diganti dengan manisan lain.

Dan yang lebih utama, `tahnik’ ini hendaklah dilakukan oleh seseorang yang mempunyai sifat taqwa dan soleh. Ini adalah sebagai suatu penghormatan dan harapan agar anak ini juga akan menjadi seorang yang taqwa dan soleh.

Hadis Rasulullah s.a.w. dari Abu Burdah, dari Abu Musa r.a., katanya: Aku telah dikurniakan seorang anak. Lalu aku membawanya kepada Nabi s.a.w. dan baginda menamakannya dengan Ibrahim, men`tahnik’nya dengan kurma serta mendoakannya dengan keberkatan. Kemudia baginda s.a.w. menyerahkannya kembali kepadaku. (HR Bukhari & Muslim)

Antara sunnah menyambut kelahiran anak ialah mencukur kepada anak pada hari ketujuh kelahirannya. Kemudian bersedekah kepada orang-orang fakir dengan perak seberat timbangan rambutnya itu.

Terdapat beberapa hadis yang menjelaskan perkara ini, antaranya ialah:
Dari Ja’far bin Muhamad dari ayahnya, dia berkata: Fatimah r.a. telah menimbang rambut kepala Hasan, Husin, Zainab dan Ummu Kalsom. Lalu dia menyedekahkan perak seberat timbangan rambut berkenaan. (HR Imam Malik)

Yahya bin Bakir meriwayatkan dari Anas bin Malik r.a., bahawa Rasulullah s.a.w. telah menyuruh agar dicukur kepala al-Hasan dan al-Husin pada hari ketujuh dari kelahiran mereka. Lalu dicukur kepala mereka, dan baginda menyedekahkan perak seberat timbangan rambut berkenaan.

Begitulah yang terdapat di dalam sunnah.
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Soalan: Berkenaan dengan mencukur kepala bayi. Kebiasaannya di kampung2 ada majlis mencukur kepala yang akan disertakan dengan Marhaban. Ketika berselawat, bayi itu tadi akan dibawa keluar dan digunting sedikit rambutnya. Adakah ini mengikut syariat Islam?

Jawab: Apa yang saudara sebutkan di atas adalah adat di dalam masyarakat Melayu. Di dalam majlis berkenaan rambut bayi akan digunting sedikit. Jika begini, ia tidak menepati sunnah yang menganjurkan agar mencukurnya. Ramai yang beranggapan bahawa sudah memadai dengan berbuat demikian.

Mengenai majlis kenduri yang diadakan seperti yang disebutkan ada ulamak yang mengatakannya sebagai tidak mengapa, dan tidak kurang juga yang mengatakannya sebagai bid’ah. Perselisihan ini berpunca dari perbezaan masing-masing tentang definasi bid’ah.

Soal mahu mengadakan majlis bercukur seperti yang saudara sebutkan ataupun tidak itu terpulang kepada pendapat yang diikuti. Jika ia dianggap bid’ah, jangan buat. Jika ia dianggap tidak mengapa, terpulang…

Namun yang paling penting ialah melaksanakan sunnah sebagaimana yang dianjurkan oleh Rasulullah s.a.w.

Antara sunnah menyambut kelahiran bayi ialah memberinya nama dengan nama-nama yang baik. Dari Abu Darda’ r.a., bersabda Rasulullah s.a.w.: Sesungguhnya pada hari kiamat nanti kamu akan dipanggil dengan nama-nama kamu dan nama-nama bapa kamu. Oleh itu, berilah nama yang baik untuk kamu. (HR Abu Daud)

Waktu memberi nama: Berdasarkan hadis-hadis Rasulullah s.a.w., ada yang menunjukkan pada hari pertama kelahirannya. Ini berdasarkan hadis riwayat Muslim dari Sulaiman bin al-Mughirah dari Thabit dari Anas r.a., katanya Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda: Malam tadi telah lahir seorang anakku. Kemudian aku menamakannya dengan Ibrahim.

Ada juga hadis yang menunjukan pada hari ketujuh berdasarkan riwayat Samirah, katanya Rasulullah s.a.w. telah bersabda: Setiap anak itu digadaikan dengan aqiqahnya. Disembelih untuknya pada hari ketujuhnya, diberi nama dan dicukur kepalanya. (HR Ashabus Sunan)

Dapat disimpulkan dari hadis-hadis berkenaan bahawa Islam memberi kelonggaran terhadap tempoh pemberian nama anak. Boleh pada hari pertama, boleh dilewatkan pada hari ketiga, dan boleh ada hari ketujuh.

Antara sunah menyambut kelahiran bayi ialah beraqiqah. Hadis Rasulullah s.a.w.: Samirah, katanya Rasulullah s.a.w. telah bersabda: Setiap anak itu digadaikan dengan aqiqahnya. Disembelih untuknya pada hari ketujuhnya, diberi nama dan dicukur kepalanya. (HR Ashabus Sunan)

Berdasarkan hadis di atas dan hadis-hadis lain bahawa aqiqah dilakukan pada hari ketujuh kelahiran bayi. Namun begitu berdasarkan pendapat imam Malik bahawa penentuan hari ketujuh seperti yang dilihat pada zahir hadis hanyalah berbentuk anjuran sahaja. Oleh itu, seandainya tidak dapat dilakukan pada hari berkenaan, maka beraqiqah pada hari keempat, kelapan, kesepuluh atau hari berikutnya sudah memadai.

Masalah aqiqah ini telah dibahas oleh ulamak dengan panjang lebar pada bab khusus mengenainya.

Antara sunnah menyambut kelahiran bayi ialah setiap muslim dianjurkan memberi ucap selamat dengan mendoakan kesejahteraan anak dan ibubapanya, serta turut sama bergembira.

Firman Allah Taala: Kemudian Malaikat (Jibril) memanggil Zakaria, sedang dia sedang berdiri sembahyang di mihrab (katanya), "Sesungguhnya Allah menggembirakan kamu dengan kelahiran (seorang puteramu) Yahya.. (3:39)

Ibnu Qaiyim al-Jauziyah menyebutkan di dalam Tuhfatul Maudud, dari Abu Bakar al-Munzir, bahwa dia berkata: Telah meriwayatkan kepada kami dari al-Hasan al-Basri bahawa seorang lelaki telah datang kepadanya, dan di sisinya ada seorang lelaki yang baru dianugerahi seorang anak kecil. Lelaki itu berkata kepada orang yang mempunyai anak itu: "Selamat bagimu atas kelahiran seorang penunggang kuda." Hasan al-Basri berkata kepada lelaki itu: "Apakah kamu tahu, apakah dia seorang penunggang kuda atau penunggang keldai?" Lelaki itu bertanya: "Jadi bagaimana cara kami mengucapkannya?" Hasan al-Basri menjawab: "Katakanlah, semoga kamu diberkati di dalam apa yang diberikan kepadamu. Semoga kamu bersyukur kepada yang memberi. Semoga kamu diberi rezeki dengan kebaikannya, dan semoga ia mencapai masa balighnya."

Begitulah secara asasnya beberapa sunnah menyambut kelahiran bayi. Sunnah-sunnah ini masih belum terasa janggal untuk diamalkan kerana ramai yang beramal dengannya. Oleh itu, kita juga perlu sama-sama beramal dengannya, semoga ia menjadi sebahagian dari tahap pendidikan ke arah mewujudkan genarasi muslim yang berakhlak mulia serta bertaqwa kepada Tuhannya.

Source:
http://lenggangkangkung-my.blogspot.com/2009/03/amalan-bila-bayi-baru-lahir.html

2011-10-12T08:28:00.000+08:00

happy wednesday :).. its mid-week (yay!) things had been okay so far. vomiting as per usual.. and tummy seems to be growing at every single minute. my little son has been kicking quite hard lately.. pain arr! but its a good sign that he is healthy and strong. alhamdulillah.. may things go smoothly for the next 4 mths.

2011-09-24T21:29:00.000+08:00

today, a happy occasion happened... my brother-in-law got engaged! congrats adik.. kak ida and abg will pray that you and nadia will have jodoh sampai ke jinjang pelamin.. amin.

2011-09-23T21:39:00.000+08:00

totally not focused at work. didnt even finish the stats that i planned this morning to finish. life's good. the moment i stepped out of my office, i am no more the office worker. i am the wife to my husband.. and i missed him. :)

2011-09-18T19:57:00.004+08:00

ok this blog is not dead yet.. just that married life has kept me busy. well sort of. we dont have a desktop at our home yet.. so i dont log on to blogger all that too often. work sucks as usual.. the only non-sucky thing is just that one day of the month when my bank account is slightly richer. heh heh hehz..

baby's good.. diam tak diam.. dah nak masuk 24 weeks! it feels amazing to have new life in my body. feeling him kick in my tummy.. it feels. awesome.

i love you, baby... and i so love you too, hubby... you, me and baby.. we will be happy together. *hugs* :)

2011-07-23T13:34:00.002+08:00

wow.. it feel liks we have been married for three years. but today is only our 3 months wedding anniversary. cant believe that the wedding feels like a happy memory in some distant past... but our love will stay forever. i will cherish you, hubby.. the same way you cherish me. i love you very much! muuuachz~~

2011-06-27T09:01:00.003+08:00

honestly speaking, i am feeling miserable. been sick all the time. crapping 24 hours. i try to be patient for a long while now. but sometimes, i just break down and cry. crying doesnt help much, but at least emotionally... i feel abit better.

2011-06-24T20:15:00.003+08:00

today at work, i watched a patient receive bad news... he has cancer. like, he appeared at the counter with a worried look.. and then after seeing the doctor, his face was red. perhsps from crying or reeling from the shock. i try to emphatize. and imagine myself in his shoes. a mental note to self: to slow down, and appreciate life before its too late.

2011-06-10T15:42:00.000+08:00

Ya Allah, berikanlah aku ketabahan dan kesabaran untuk menempuji cubaan hidupku ini. Amin.

2011-06-07T14:21:00.002+08:00

my few days of work had been an okay start. the shit has not started yet. i think it will, sooner or later. actually i am very upset that they have transferred me from a tough department, to another tough department.

ya Allah, berikanlah aku ketabahan dan kesabaran.. Amin.

2011-05-28T18:49:00.007+08:00

i'm feeling down today.. been sick with gastric problems. albeit serious stomach bloatedness. food that goes in only felt like going out. and i really hope to get better soon, before i start work next week.

i'm feeling down because of another thing too. i realised that i misunderstood mum.. today she told me over the phone that yesterday she cried when she saw ayah's photo. i feel for her. and how big an impact, the loss of our dad is having on her.

if to me, even when now its May.. more than 6 months since he passed away. its still feels like yesterday. i cannot possibly imagine how mum is feeling now. i miss ayah too. because he is not here to share with me the major things in my life.. the feeling of regrets still drove deep into my heart.

i thought of how mum, kak su & adik ayu are leading their lives daily now, without me watching out for them. and i worry. because all my life, i have always been watching out for them. i even wished if only we all live together under one roof......

2011-05-26T17:02:00.004+08:00

i think my mum is having the empty-nest syndrome. getting in a bad mood all the time.. everything that i do seems wrong to her. it sucks. i wish she could understand.. as much as she finds it difficult to accept the changes now that i'm a married woman. i too, am having a hard time adjusting. i am trying my best to be a good daughter to her, and also a good wife to my husband.

2011-05-17T12:24:00.003+08:00

*yawns*.. i just sleeps alot these days. not sure if its because of i'm tired or i've grown lazy. mwahahaha i hope its not the second one. cos in less than 2 weeks, i'm coming back to work. (yay!) can hear the kaching-kaching for next mth.. after wedding and the hse. i am feeling quite broke now.

2011-05-07T08:31:00.003+08:00

today after voting, my abg is bringing me out to breathe in fresh sea air at Desaru Fish Farm Resort in JB.. hehehe hope we will have a great time fishing & catching prawns! ^_^

2011-05-04T10:05:00.006+08:00

phew. finally able to take a breather and have some alone time. life had been a whirlwind since the wedding...... directly from that, the house matters kicked in. and then there was the honeymoon (which i certainly was glad for it).... hubby & i had a great time spending quality time together.

this hiatus from work was great.. but thinking long term, just makes me cringe.. like, you know.. what should i do with all that free time?

perhaps its because i havent had a child like my good friend Za, who now is a full time wife with 3 small little kids. i wonder how she copes without parents support.. she lives far away from them.. i hope its because her hubby helps.

but i know my hubby would.... *hugs* i love you.

2011-04-28T18:52:00.001+08:00

alhamdulillah, the wedding went well.. here's a pic of us in our favorite colours.. black for him, red for her.. ;)

2011-04-20T15:50:00.001+08:00

*takes slow deep breaths*.. tmr evening, i'll be putting on my henna.

2011-04-18T18:34:00.006+08:00

while i was reading yasin for ayah today.. memories of him flooded my mind. if he is here with us today, he would be the most excited person in the family.. like cannot sleep excited type.

i thought about how good a dad he has been in my life. i have nothing but fond memories... and also regrets, wishing for more chances to be a good daughter to him.

only now that i realised. before, i took for granted that he will always be there for me. that was when tears stung my eyes.

2011-04-17T16:22:00.001+08:00

i looked at my calender today and pinched myself.. the day i've been looking forward to all year is almost finally here. 6 days left.. wow.

2011-04-14T21:04:00.001+08:00

my husband-to-be is so handsome!!!!

2011-04-13T15:11:00.005+08:00

i seriously need solid anger management. well sometimes. i tried every possible ways. counting from one to ten. say abit of zikir. take my mind off things by a short nap. budden i was still fuming. like, its emitting off me that mum and kak su just ignored me. (which i thought was a good albeit smart thing)

in the end i took a cold shower. and i cooled off. i don't know exactly why i was angry. the real reason i mean. i just get pissed. maybe it was anxiety that i somehow turned into anger. like, you know, even when i'm sad or disappointed, i became angry.

maybe to me, anger was easier to deal with more than anything else.

2011-04-12T17:43:00.005+08:00

burps.. yummy durians! hehehe... anytime soon i'll be getting a sore throat like i always do after durian. but its okay cos i'm just happy.. :)

2011-04-10T07:49:00.004+08:00

jika Allah menimpakan suatu kemudaratan kepadamu, maka tidak ada yang menghapuskannya melainkan Dia sendiri. (Surah Al-An'aam Ayat 17)

semoga Allah berikan ketabahan, kesabaran dan ketetapan iman buat Zakiah dalam menempuhi ujian hidupnya. Amin.

2011-04-07T11:54:00.005+08:00

dear, i would strongly recommend you to listen to these few audios in preparation to our marriage.. it gives a few good insights on married life.

Go to this link: IKIM.FM

Scroll under, "Keluarga Sakinah (Y.Bhg. Prof. Dato' Dr. Sidek Baba)" and then select the audio you like to hear.

2011-04-06T16:24:00.006+08:00

my mum & i had a fight today regarding an issue. i asked her; sampai bila mak nak marah dgn diorang? sampai akhirat?.. she said to me the most hurtful thing: kau tu mata duit.

i get no thanks for doing all her shit work and my prize is to be accused like this. sometimes i feel like i dont deserve this burden.. when it comes to money, people change. even your most unexpected loved ones. adakah duit yg terkumpul banyak itu boleh menolong kita di akhirat nanti? maybe this is one of my ujians in life from Allah.

and yes, of course i cried. it is like a deep stab in my heart.

2011-04-05T21:35:00.011+08:00

yay! *jumps around* i think we found our dream couch at a special price of $999.. aweshum. mwahahaha i loike..

i mish dear. and today when he came, i am just glad. hehehe its amazing that in 18 days time.. i am going to lead a new aweshum life together with this aweshum man. sumtimes, it feels like. i must be dreaming.. do you think that way sumtimes too?

sarang heyo takumi-chan... *hugs* ^_^

2011-04-04T13:28:00.000+08:00

dear, make sure you get your cousins to dismantle and eat it once you bring this home after nikah okay?

2011-03-31T17:21:00.001+08:00

cooking this ayam masak lemak cili padi is no joke! byk bahan & steps ar!!!

2011-03-30T21:32:00.005+08:00

acerly, was looking for kacang botol and celery.. but managed to find one of them at the supermarket. even though, kacang botol is traditionally an ulam that is usually eaten raw with belachan, mum ever cooked kacang botol before.. i remembered that it was very the nice lor, but she hardly cooks it nowadays because the sayur is usually out of sight at the wet market and the supermarket.

out of sight means out of mind so we always terlupa nak beli.. a mental note to look for it the next time we go to the wet market.

2011-03-29T16:14:00.003+08:00

today, i learnt how to cook chilli crab from mum... hehz hehz hehz.. jemputtt..

2011-03-25T19:51:00.008+08:00

i think i have the most awesome tunang (aka soon to be hubby) in the world.... even though the plan could not go through in the end.. i am still touched. haha it would have been one of the most memorable memories in my life! but its ok dear.. we have our lives ahead of us together.. there will be many more sweet memories to come. insya-Allah.

i love you, takumi-chan.. you rock my world!!! *big big hugs* ^_^

2011-03-24T22:41:00.000+08:00

just sharing a happy thought.. mungkin my doa terkabul akhirnya. when normally she would say no whenever i asked her if she wants to join me to go mosque.. today kakak said- lets go i want to come with you..

inwardly, i smiled. to me its a big step from all the little steps she's been taking.. menutup aurat. menjaga solat.. syabas kakak ku. semoga kita bersama masuk syurga dan di pelihara oleh Allah dari azab api neraka. insya-Allah..

sesungguhnya dengan mengingati Allah, hati akan menjadi tenang. (Surah Ar-Ra'ad ayat 28)

2011-03-16T12:33:00.017+08:00

masih terngiang2 di dalam ingatan.. suatu perkataan yg disebut setelah mereka mengebumikan ayah.

"ingatlah.. segala sesuatu yang hidup itu pasti akan mati."

terfikir sejenak untuk diri sendiri. aku yg masih kekurangan ilmu dan ibadat. adakah aku bersedia menghadap Allah suatu hari nanti.. hari yg pastinya akan tiba.

"Ya Allah, janganlah Engkau pesongkan hati kami sesudah Engkau memberi kami petunjuk, berilah kami rahmat dari sisi-Mu, sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Pengurnia (banyak memberi rezeki)." (Surah Ali Imran ayat 8).

==
dear, pergas got this basic course.. Program Takrif Islam - Kenali dan Fahami Asas Islam dalam 6 bulan. registration opens in April.. want to sign up? Kuliah starts in July. there's one every Sunday, 9am-12noon. after this course we can proceed slowly to others in-depth one. The in-depth one is Sijil Pengajian Islam and has more interesting stuffs like Tajwid! budden, in order to sign up for this one must go through Program Takrif Islam first...

If you think ad-hoc ones better in order not to limit ourselves, Darul Arqam have lah.. in english and free also. mwahaha can choose what topic we want and got no exams! pergas one got exam.. :S

oh yah, Zakiah might be interested in the Qur'an reading classes in Darul Arqam.. there's one Module 2: Basic Qur'an Reading starting next week, 21 March.. free of charge, but must register one. currently got 15 vacancies left. Every Monday, 8-9.30pm.. i'm waiting for Module 3: Tajwid to come out.. then i sign up. but i dont mind temankan Zakiah lah since i have a lot of time. let her know.

2011-03-12T10:23:00.007+08:00

sorry havent been updating much lately. my thoughts are caught up with stuffs. mainly the house and the wedding.. and my future ahead. in a way i am feeling a cocktail of feelings. anxiety, apprehensive... realisation struck.

before, i led my life ready to face the world alone. walau macam mana kita merancang, Allah juga yg menentukan. subhanallah.. it was His Will that i met him.. the love of my life. when it was really very unlikely we could have met, if at all.. because our paths were different.

2011-03-07T22:11:00.002+08:00

today went to work to settle some stuffs. end up i spent half a day there. catching up with ppl.. mwahaha. after that i went popular bookshop to buy some art and craft! check out my latest mini diy project.. he he he.. i loike! dah lamer tak buat art...

2011-03-04T10:40:00.011+08:00

its friday.. officially, today is the end of my annual leave (yes i used up all 25 days). by next week, it will be the start of my no-pay leave. makcik saniah was saying how come i am taking no-pay leave when at this point of time i really need to use money. truthfully i do. but money is not everything.. family is.

learning from the past month i've been staying together at home with mum.. she is now a happier lady.. instead of moping around grieving about dad and wanting to do nothing. and now that its time to write the cards.. i'm missing ayah. whats more my mum. who had to go to and fro alone to invite our relatives? who had to slowly figure out on her own who to jemput and get ppl's help to jemput ayah's orang2 kampung lamer? in a way, i feel sad for her but i try not to show.

keep your chin up, wahida.. only Allah knows your heart. May Allah give the strength that you need.. insyallah.

2011-03-01T17:07:00.001+08:00

my facebook status message says it all- kalau arwah ayah masih ada dialah yg paling gan-chiong excited mited tulis kad... the phonebook is so full of addresses in his handwriting.

i miss ayah.. :~(

2011-02-25T20:31:00.010+08:00

yes! in exactly 3 days, february will end.. its now less than two months away from the D-day.. i am actually getting quite excited (and some sleepless nights in the process), even though not much activities is going on now.. wedding-wise.

i'm thinking that. i'm kind of more or less done with my diy stuffs (mwahaha translate that as i also cleared my old junks as well).. now i've got nothing much on my to-do list, until my cousin abg naz reminded me i should be reading bab munakahat, and to familiarise myself to all things related to a marriage.

looking back, tts probably a good idea.. i've been caught up with wedding stuffs that i almost forgot about the marriage part. i have those books.. found it in my bookcase along with other books. i even found a book on how to do hajj/umrah. how convenient.. and splendid way to spend the remaining time. menimba ilmu!

my most fav pic of the moment.. :)

2011-02-18T23:13:00.004+08:00

it had been a rather simple day.. in the morning, i accompanied mum to the doctor's to get her top-up meds.. realised that she had not been eating her high cholestrol meds on time (we know this because she still has the meds for that but the diabetes one finished liaoz) the dr said her previous blood test results were really bad and she's in high risk category for stroke. the dr took her blood sample today to check again.. lets just hope the results turn out okay.. in the meantime, i've became the self-appointed policeman to ensure she didnt forget her meds.. hehehe

dear came over today after his friday prayers. he looked really tired from burning the midnight oil finishing the assignments last nite.. kecian dier.. i hope he doesnt get burnout before his practicum. next week is gonna be a hectic week wads with training with the soccer boys.

i've somewhat came to terms that we will not be seeing each other so often come march.. i'll probably be just doing more diy projects at home and reading decor tips for our love nest at tampines. its funny.... i'm more excited abt the house and the honeymoon (in that order!) rather than the wedding mwahaha..

2011-02-16T20:26:00.004+08:00

i'm having a headache now from all that oil paint smell.. ughh.. other than that. today, like any other day had been uneventful.. was doing the usual housework and mopping the floor. did some touch-ups on the paintwork (hehz i'm proud of my work!)..

haiz had just a thought, i wished i could go on a holiday now, overseas. so much free time.. but i know that mum will not hear of it. so its just useless wishful thinking. on a happier note, we've booked our honeymoon so that's probably my first trip for this year. june there may be a silat trip, but i'll have to see if i am able to extend my no pay leave further.

as for now i guess i should just enjoy my stress-free life and spend quality time with mum. because it is inevitable that eventually i will be staying apart and thus not being able to see her everyday, like now..

2011-02-13T18:57:00.015+08:00

i still remember that number. the day when i first installed the wedding countdown on my blog.. the number was 146 days. and today, more than half of it is gone. (!!*gasP) ok ok breathe, ida.. 69 days masih lamaa lagiiiii... mwahahaha

these are the cards that i am keeping for memories. if you guessed mine's the ribbon one, you're wrong.. mine's the lovely light green card with two hearts.. tomorrow, i'm going to the post office to buy some stamps and get ready.... because ayah's not around, i'll have to be the one accompanying my mum to houses to jemput the closest relatives.. that would probably start around mid-March..

on an unrelated sidenote: i miss ayah... alot. before he left, arwah ayah was the most excited person in our family about my wedding.. he helped choose the card, the berkats and the wedding decor.. i wished he is here with us still, but it was not meant to be.. he is with Allah now.

2011-02-12T22:17:00.013+08:00

it had been a lovely day spent with dear today. we went to one of my sec school classmate's wedding together. it had been a nice reception.. which translates to no-loud-music-and-overwhelming-crowd kind of nice reception (tts why i loike!).. after tt dear and i just chillout with my adik and mum at home.. it had been a cold rainy afternoon.. and we had piping hot pisang goreng (thanks mum!), some chips and hot drinks going to keep us company while watching dvd. just nice to stay indoors and be couch potatoes.. he he he ;)

ouh and tts just a snapshot of us goofing around at the couch with my new iPhone 4... looking at how tembam i looked in this pic, i guess i really am putting on some weight! yay-ness (like duh, finally!!).. i just need to get hold of a weighing machine to confirm this.. mwahahaha

2011-02-10T14:03:00.002+08:00

didnt sleep very well last night because of the body aches. was awake at 3 am and couldnt sleep since. nothing works better than a good walk outside breathing fresh air (plus the veggie and fishy smell) at the wet market. we had some major mother-daughter bonding session there. it was fun!

2011-02-09T20:01:00.004+08:00

penat day number 2... ops paint living room- sukses! but ended later than expected. and we didnt manage to move back the furniture because da penattt.. mwahahaha check out my blue living room. credits go to mum as well for helping me out.. cos i da pancit giler pasal smalam nyer painting room. next ops - paint door frames (probably next week).. cos tmr got to go market with mum.. jadi coolie tolong angkatkan barang pasar.. mwahahaha. looking at the bright side, its high time for me to learn how to buy things from the market.. so yar, its a learning opportunity.

2011-02-08T19:53:00.007+08:00

aduhh.. badan ku penat dan sakit.. tapi kerja da beres!! mwahahaha.. its a whole day affair to paint my bridal room aka faisal&wahida room for abt 2 mths after wedding... its a nice soft beige colour.. sayang, u like? i painted the room all by myself! i'll let you sleep near the window because that's where the aircon is.. sejukk.. i dont like cold.

2011-02-07T13:29:00.007+08:00

Ya Allah aku bermohon kepada-Mu segala apa yang baik samada datangnya lambat atau cepat, yang aku ketahui dan yang tidak aku ketahui. Dan aku berlindung kepada-Mu dari segala apa yang berbahaya samada datangnya lambat atau cepat, yang aku ketahui dan yang tidak aku ketahui.

Lindungilah keluargaku dan mereka yang aku sayangi.. Berikanlah kami kesabaran untuk menempuhi ujian-Mu, Ya Allah.. sesungguhnya Engkau Tuhan yang Maha Pengasih Lagi Maha Penyayang. Amin.

2011-02-04T14:38:00.003+08:00

and this will be the song that will be played when you come for me on our wedding day.. i love you, takumi-chan.

--
i live my life for you,
by firehouse

you know you're everything to me
and i could never see
the two of us apart
and you know i give myself to you
and no matter what you do
i promise you my heart

i've built my world around you and i want you to know
i need you like i've never needed anyone before

i live my life for you
i want to be by your side
in everything that you do
and if there's only one thing you can believe is true
i live my life for you

i dedicate my life to you,
you know that i would die for you
but our love would last forever
and i will always be with you and there is nothing we can't do
as long as we're together

i just can't live without you and i want you to know
i need you like i've never needed anyone before

i live my life for you
i want to be by your side
in everything that you do
and if there's only one thing you can believe is true
i live my life for you

i live my life for you

--

2011-02-03T18:26:00.003+08:00

seriously... Universal Studios is so not my scene. dunno why that i get bored with theme parks easily. but since its just a family thing, i just go with the flow lar. at least i get to take a picture with my favourite kucing.. meow! ;)

2011-02-02T21:15:00.002+08:00

abg din came over today to discuss the catering and the decor. it took quite a while because now we were drilling into details. i more or less envisioned how its going to be done on the day. so i just hope for the best that the wedding will go smoothly. insyallah.

2011-02-01T18:03:00.003+08:00

i cant remember much about today except clearing all the old junks in my room. and then figuring out which books to bring over to our new home.

2011-01-31T15:10:00.002+08:00

i saw the guitar, and felt like strumming. was looking for my guitar book high and low.. haiyo. because now i cant remember the chords le.

2011-01-30T20:31:00.002+08:00

it had been a great weekend, shopping with dear, mil, sil, elder sis & mum.. tts my mum looking happy with her new tudung that matches with her mak pengantin baju.. :)

2011-01-30T13:07:00.006+08:00

was browsing facebook at the 'people who you may know' section.. not surprisingly, there were quite a number of people whom i know. a lot, actually. its just that they're probably saw my profile too in the same section and didnt know it was me. shigeki ayako. i kinda like this anonymity and of course with it comes, the privacy.

2011-01-27T13:46:00.004+08:00

wow we finally made it! tidying up the store tooks us some days of procrastination until, of course today. mum cried again, because we were throwing away all the junks that dad liked to keep in the store. she said if we clear the store together with dad, he would just put them all back in even though they're just white elephants. i think we will miss him no matter how long time will pass.. because he will always be our dad.

well now, a few days in my leave. i am starting to get bored. initially entertained myself with korean dramas, but even those are getting to bore me. because really, dramas or tv can only catch my interest til so much. arrrgh. perhaps i should start painting my room soon and get busy.

2011-01-24T11:58:00.005+08:00

today my leave begins. and it felt odd to tell myself to forget about work. when ironically i dreamt about work last night (and yep it was the nightmare type).. i must start getting used to this.. and in the meantime, spend as much quality time with my mum as possible. after the wedding, my new life will begin. as a wife to my loving husband.. and in future, a good mother to our kids.. insyaallah.

this is what i cooked with mum today.. daging masak beefsteak! best eaten with roti perancis. pedas2 type one. jempuuut.. ;)

2011-01-23T15:42:00.004+08:00

we went to visit ayah today.. and the white marble dapur that was set for him was beautiful. white.. which symbolises him. a good man, a good dad to his kids, and a good husband to his wife. mum cried when we said the surah yasin together for him, and we prayed that his soul rest in peace. he will always be in our thoughts and in our hearts. we miss you, ayah...

our last raya together in 2010.

2011-01-22T22:38:00.011+08:00

i thought of today.. and i smiled. it was nice spending time with dear. after he sent me home, i asked if i can just keep him by my side or kidnap him. haha gosh i love him so. *hugs*

2011-01-21T20:41:00.002+08:00

it feels so surreal to be on leave.. this must be the longest leave i've ever taken since the past 3 years!

2011-01-20T11:53:00.002+08:00

the Pessimist complains about the wind; the Optimist expects it to change; the Realist adjusts the sails.

2011-01-18T18:19:00.013+08:00

today i learnt a lesson of not to expect others to help you because you will only be disappointed in the end. you must always count on yourself and have faith in your own ability to overcome all the obstacles in your life. never forget that Allah is Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang, and He will not test you with something more than you can bear.

2011-01-16T15:29:00.001+08:00

today is my ayah 100 days death anniversary. my relatives and i are having a kenduri tahlil for him.. may his soul dicucuri rahmat Allah swt.. amin.

2011-01-12T21:04:00.007+08:00

lunch was a yummy nasi lemak at the coffeeshop nearby the workplace. and then the day wasnt so bad after all. tomorrow, it will be exactly 100 days to the wedding.... things will get busy real soon.

let the countdown begin! ^_^

2011-01-10T17:03:00.002+08:00

our happy memories together! November 2008..

2011-01-10T12:02:00.007+08:00

i need a life! that was what i thought as i walked around in the heartlands. it had been a cool morning when my mum, adik and i went to the hdb office. yep, the house has a taker. adik ayu wants the ownership of the house, joint with mum.

i should say, tts a pretty smart thing to do. considering the fact how hard it was for me and dear to hunt for a decent resale flat at a relatively good location that do not burst out our budget too much. notice the word too much? yeah. its inevitable. and its not even at a high floor as we initially wanted. but somewhere somehow, something's gotta give. if you got something too perfect, then you start questioning inwardly - its too good to be true, now whats the catch?

i also dont think my sis would even want to consider a new house because waiting takes time (at least 2 years!!), and its definitely somewhere 'ulu' like punggol or sengkang.. mwahaha expensive operating cost shuttling self to here and there.

back to my topic on i need a life. i dont know why, but having a job (okay, i think maybe its because its this job.. i hope others not laidat lar) and living is somewhat mutually exclusive.

when i work hard, i forgot how to live. going through the dark episode in life when we lost our dad... i realise that life is too precious to take it for granted. going through the motions - is out of the question. we must live with purpose.. and know what we are living for. yes, i need to constantly remind self. to take time and reflect. and as much as i can, i want the best of both worlds. career and personal life.

2011-01-09T12:56:00.001+08:00

I found a place which is warm and full of life
A place where all my dreams and wishes come alive
I hold one empty spot which is made just for you
In my heart is where this spot waits
For you to come and fill it's empty space
I found a place which is warm and full of life
A place where all my dreams and wishes come alive
And you are in its center

2011-01-04T21:16:00.004+08:00

winding down.. today at work, i was barely at my desk. down with a manpower at eye clinic today. so i was there doing registration and payment collection. nearly had a heart attack when closing counter when i saw a -700++ discrepancy! but ok. false alarm.. realised after that, cos i typed it in wrongly while closing counter. mwahahaha *slaps forehead*.... kalo kena fork out that amount.. parah seh. tsk tsk.

2011-01-03T19:41:00.003+08:00

i dread eye department meetings.. every first monday of the month. and yar, i'm still at work now. i think its gonna end to almost 10pm like last month...

2010-12-30T19:52:00.003+08:00

mwahaha after a super long day at work.. i am suddenly craving for a Nandos meal with its super hot peri-peri. cant wait for the week to end so that i can unwind. the whole week at work had been quite shitty lar. i must say, the usual. but i am taking each day as it is now. no matter how much i dragged myself to work... i consoled myself for the fact that soon, it will be over.

2010-12-29T14:40:00.001+08:00

i find this really heart-warming.. makes me think of dear.
its a status from one of my friends in FB.

Woman was made from the rib of man,
She was not created from his head to top him,
Nor from his feet to be stepped upon,
She was made from his side to be close to him
From beneath his arm to be protected by him,
Near his heart to be loved by him.

2010-12-28T20:34:00.005+08:00

*gasp* ok. i survived today.. phone check - 15 missed calls. wah laoz eh.. i was only gone for a day! macam tak paham bahasa yg i ni on leave tau. other than that, i cant remember much lar what happened today. great to know good news early in the morning. sayang was in a super good mood (and still is!) because arsenal won against chelsea last night. haha he's a die-hard arsenal fan.. i guess, he's the one who will be watching most of the tv.. at our home. and yes yes.. nearly a month ago, we found our home. loves it that its situated at a pretty good location! :)

2010-12-27T21:40:00.008+08:00

dreading the fact that tomorrow is a work day, i was consoled that at least today was a non-typical monday. and a significant one too. well, the first time we went to romm.. we forgot the wali. so we sort of did it right this time. obek mamat, obek habsah and mum went together this time.. and then there was the 'interview' session where i heard the many horror stories. faisal and i survived it.. or rather how do i put this. it was like cheyyyy. mwahaha we both thought the ustaz was pretty cool. :)

2010-12-24T18:19:00.015+08:00

its christmas, and soon... the year 2010 will pass me by. and wow. figuring out from my blog entries, here's the highlights of what happened:

January - Dear's family merisik, still remember I was so nervous I couldnt sleep
February - Work stuffs, mostly going to construction site at KTPH
March - A beautiful month for dear and i.. We were officially engaged!
April - Our 3 years anniversary.. I was also busy browsing wedding stuffs
May - We went for our marriage prep course
June - We had a much enjoyable time at Perak Trip with the silat peeps
July - I confirmed my berkats, wedding cake & invitation cards
August - We had a happy family time cooking :)
September - We were on a house-hunting frenzy mwahaha
October - Sad month for my family.. Ayah passed away in a work-related accident
November - Family in grief and still coping with loss
December - Work stuffs, and made the decision career-wise

i should say, 2010 is not too bad in my personal life. and it will be the year that i will always remember. october 2010, when we lost our dad.. for that moment, it felt like my world collapsed. with pain and disbelief. our family is still grieving, but we are slowly picking up the pieces. only Allah knows our hearts. how mum, my sisters and i are missing him.. always. ayah will always be in our thoughts and in our prayers.. insyallah.

thank you, dear.. for being my constant pillar of strength and support. knowing you, and having you in my life for almost 4 years now.. its unbelievable. i dedicate this song in my blog for you..

i love you. *hugs*

==
Unbelievable

Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see, what love means.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.

In my heart, in my head, it's so clear now,
Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you've rescued me some how-.
I'm alive, I'm in love you complete me,
And I've never been here before.
Now I see, what love means.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.

When I think of what I have, and this chance I nearly lost,
I cant help but break down, and cry.
Ohh yeah, break down and cry.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.

Now I see, what love means

2010-12-22T21:24:00.006+08:00

nowadays, i always made it a point to chat with mum after i reached home from work. i asked mum how was her day today.. and she said she thought of dad today, and she missed him. it was so yesterday, and the days before that.. and while reading the quran today, she said that she cried. i told her that i miss him too, and it was okay to cry.

2010-12-21T20:42:00.008+08:00

on the road to recovery from a bout of gastric flu. it sucks being sick. but come to think back.. its been a while since i fell sick... so i guess i really must be grateful to God for all the days that i am well. today's been okay.. other than work. i guess nothing much really happened. in fact it feels as though i was just sleepwalking through life. like, you know. just going through the motions. doing what you're supposed to do, and at what time. i'm probably just frustrated and extremely tired.. and most of all, feeling unappreciated. nothing can lift up my mood. well, pretty much.. for now.

2010-12-17T20:34:00.009+08:00

i'm getting the questions and ppl are panicking for me.. looking back now, i think its almost funny.
fren: biler kawin?
me: aiya not so soon lar.. still got 4 mths.
fren: eh tu da dekat tu!!
me: huh?

2010-12-15T18:32:00.005+08:00

and my facebook status said it all. i am beyond exhausted.. work is non-stop this year. and i really mean, non-stop. gosh i so want my life back.... almost desperate now.

2010-12-14T20:46:00.003+08:00

was rummaging through my things for some A4 envelopes when suddenly realization struck. i have so many old stuffs in my wardrobe and book cabinet that i need to sort out and classify as junk. arghh.. i need cardboard boxes!

2010-12-13T21:28:00.007+08:00

today i had the POSB juice.. Pear Orange Sour plum Beetroot Juice. though quite expensive, it certainly tasted yummy! other than that, it had been an i-got-no-mood-to-work day.. but ironically, i somehow got quite a few things done. despite the internal grumblings, that is. mwahahaha

2010-12-08T20:25:00.001+08:00

alhamdulillah.. today my mum asked obek mamat if he is willing to be my wali... he said yes.

2010-12-07T17:55:00.006+08:00

at the playground today, i sat on a swing.. haha i was just excited, reliving the young carefree days being a kid. when life was just play.. haha well a little study here and there, but mostly play. somehow that led me to think of life.. for most of us as an adult, the obsession with work and money... there's worry and insecurities. i want to dream what i want to dream, go where i want to go, and be what i want to be. because i have only one life and one chance to do all the things i want to do... i will make it happen.

2010-12-06T19:19:00.009+08:00

today was one of those days when i was feeling down. well still am, really. i have now reached that point.. that breaking point when its just too much to take it all on my own. i want to stop feeling tired. i have been tired all year round. i think it is time to stop and take a hiatus. i want to travel. i want to take my long much needed rest. because all there is left at work now is s.h.i.t.. no matter how hard i tried, it just didnt matter. not to them and not to anyone. yep, like one of those linkin park songs said - "..i tried so hard and got so far. but in the end it doesnt even matter.."

2010-12-05T19:20:00.006+08:00

wow. somehow i survived stand chart.. read with dismay on the news that they are targeting 100,000 runners in 2015?!! wah kaoz. tts means medical coverage must be even more kilat by then. eerr.. i'd rather not be there lor. dear, we walk 10km next year... onz?

2010-12-03T21:20:00.012+08:00

i think i have decided on my newest favorite veggie.... the celery. haha mum cooked stir-fried celery today, and i thought it must be yummiest veggie i've ever tasted. crunchy, and the light veggie sweetness. i loiike!!! ^_^ celery's now my newest favorite veggie.. second to shiitake mushroom, and then cherry tomatoes come third.. it used to be, i never ate those when i was a kid. mwahaha slowly re-discovering the little pleasures of food in life..

~ the grass isnt always greenest on the other side of the fence. it's greenest where it's watered. go home and get out your watering can. ~

2010-12-02T19:59:00.005+08:00

its 8 pm, and i'm yawning. hehz. so tired. was browsing facebook and saw nothing much there.. just the usual stuffs. ppl on holiday lar.. ppl getting married lar.. ppl bitching about work lar. sometimes i do wonder why i waste time each day browsing facebook. mental note to self: time is precious and should be better spent on more meaningful things.

~ friends come and go throughout our lives, but our family is usually there from start to finish. ~

2010-11-24T20:07:00.002+08:00

wow i find this really useful for our new home! click the link: Interior Design 101

2010-11-22T21:17:00.008+08:00

monday began grumpily.. as in. grumpily got out of bed. grumpily dragged my feet to the mrt. grumpily switched on the comp. but after that, as the day wore on, i felt better. i was home early after that. thinking i should spend more time with mum. now that i only have mum left.... i must appreciate her. and also because i did not get to appreciate dad enough. yes, there were regrets where dad is concerned.

~ How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. ~

2010-11-19T17:59:00.004+08:00

urghh.. not feeling so good. feels like going to catch a fever. the day's been okay. well work was nothing more than just the stressful presentation in the morning at NUS. after which i did the route recce for the stand chart marathon marina sector. lunch was at the arts canteen, and it felt great to be back in school. there's so much beautiful memories there.